“Then the steward said within himself, what shall I do? For my lord taketh away from me the stewardship: I cannot dig; to beg I am ashamed. I am resolved what to do, that when I am put out of the stewardship, they may receive me into their houses.” (Luke 16:3-4).
‘I don’t go cap in hand to people’, my relative announced with some air of arrogance to a suggestion that a friend might help pay a bill. This is an idiomatic expression meaning that she doesn’t beg and I found this expression quite noble several years ago when it was uttered, but today with more years of life and godly experiences I reason differently knowing for sure that anyone who would tow the path of righteousness will soon learn to beg.
Failure in learning to beg has led many Christians astray from the path of life to embrace incredibly sinful vices that are sure to poison the delicate human scruples which the creator wisely placed in us to ensure that finding our ways in life would be easy.
While it is excellent that many of us were nurtured by parents and guardians who instructed us against begging as children, understanding that this value is necessary for any society to keep children safe from hurtful persons who pose as friends and also to teach the sterling value of contentment, the reverse is necessary to be learnt in adult life when life is now to be faced squarely.
Interestingly, many who learnt to avoid begging as children mature into adulthood retain this quality, and making adult adjustments in this regard often prove difficult especially when self-sufficiency is embraced with pride.
No matter how prideful we become, fate is not a respecter of persons and it is important to realise that sooner or later, we would soon find ourselves in a situation that would require us to beg for something (this something could range from time, space, energy, properties to money) from other people for life is not designed to encourage absolute independence from others.
When a situation of unmanageable need arises, we must learn to humble ourselves and beg for indeed unmanageable needs to arise to teach Humility.
Unfortunately, some may not be willing to muster the humility required to beg from others, and as such shift to vices such as stealing, pilfering, sexual immorality, prostitution, fraudulence, and even diabolical money spells, all of these being products of pride.
Moreover, the attitude of people towards the needy can be discouraging or encouraging depending on the part of the country the prospective benefactor hails from. For instance, a couple of months ago, I met a destitute lady on the street who was begging for some money and incidentally she approached a neighbour of mine who was from the Eastern part of the country for assistance.
My neighbour considered her with scorn and curtly turned her away, watching her as she departed as if she were a ghost. He reported the destitute to me with disgust and interestingly, my neighbour was a Christian so I demanded what he expected the lady to do now that she was destitute. He quietly explained that she ought to use whatever she possessed to obtain what she needed rather than stoop as low as to beg.
This attitude is all too common with Easterners who can’t seem to figure out why anyone would resort to begging but would look the other way as sins are being committed referring to these as ‘Hustling’. The Northerner on the other can be more empathic and benevolent, helping the needy without much scrutiny. This is probably due to Islamic teachings and make no mistake about this, there are Christians who converted to Islam because they were beneficiaries or moved by the magnanimity of the Northerner.
Unfortunately, Christians can be so stingy except when donating to the Church, forgetting completely all that Christ taught about almsgiving (donations to the poor). While street begging should be discouraged especially for children, all well-meaning Christians should learn to come to the aid of the destitute without asking too many unnerving questions suggesting that begging is grotesque and beggars should be reprimanded.
There are those in a society whose situation would force them to beg from strangers while there are those who would need to beg from familiar persons. No one is immune to unserviceable needs and as such we ought to be open to offering assistance to the needy, knowing that the needy can be met in the most unusual places.
For example, my friend was in the UK a couple of years ago and she was shocked when she noticed a Nigerian who walked up to her in tatters and earnestly begged for £5.
Considering that begging is illegal in the UK, both the beggar and the giver will be guilty of offence if nabbed so she could not oblige but here in Nigeria thankfully, no one gets apprehended for offering some notes to the needy.
When it comes to begging, humility is the watchword as we may need to beg from parents, children, friends, siblings, spouses, or total strangers. Whether one needs to beg for N5,000 to buy some foodstuff or N2m to pay school fees abroad, all are begging and the prospective benefactor must be approached with humility while the benefactor should not take offence, knowing that begging is not a sin but biblically encouraged rather than sin.
A situation where a lady or gentleman is broke for whatever reason and must travel some miles without a dime may necessitate hitchhiking. This will require humbly soliciting help from travellers with vehicles. Offering to help and then reprimanding the needy for seeking help is ungodly so also is offering to help and demanding sexual gratification (essentially seeking to take advantage of the needy).
Understand that the needy benefit from hitch-hiking daily all around the world with no hitch-hiker being an isolated case while considering the music of Bebe and Cece Winans, ‘Lean on me’ on this issue.
Furthermore, it should be noted that more often than not when we opt for an alternative to begging when necessary, the alternative embraced may lead to destiny compromise.
For instance, it is better to beg for a living for a while than work certain jobs and this is especially true of jobs that erode the self-esteem of employees rendering them incapable of achieving greatness in life under the guise of paying wages and placing some meal on the family table. We all should know what Jobs to or not to take following the counsel of Hebrews 10:35, “cast not away, therefore, your confidence (or self-esteem), which hath great recompense of reward.”
Begging for a living in this case could mean living off parents, spouses, friends, etc while seeking a more acceptable job. Unfortunately, many spouses would not support each other for a while for a partner to obtain a worthwhile job but would pressurise until a bad job is accepted.
The same is true of siblings who would not support each other for a while to help one establish a career. Be advised that many lives have been ruined by taking jobs that ruin self-esteem and many talents have been wasted in the process of ill-advised jobs that place food on the table.
Ms. Dare Oduwole is a Nouthetic Christian Counsellor and founder of Godly Counsel Christian Foundation, Abuja. She can be contacted via 08027291632
